build your beautiful self

Yesterday was a surprisingly challenging day. I felt I needed to share progress in taking control of my mind! hahaha

Throughout the morning, I had a case of the Monday’s. Should have been excited to start the week, but I just wasn’t. I knew the to-do list was long and I was feeling very disconnected with the work I needed to do.

I also had several things that popped up from my past that reminded me of some not so good times. I had a reminder of my past failures. I got slammed with 5 new, very engaged tasks at my job and a very limited time to complete them. Perfect ammo for a poor me sesh.

I felt a huge sense of overwhelm and like I just wanted to give in. I listened to my brain throw all possible scenarios at me:

“You’ll get fired from the job because you are not as good as you should be yet”
“You’re going to lose the deal you have been working on for months that will net you the start of your house down payment that you are trying to get together.”
“You’ll live in this building forever because you’ll never be able to afford to move”
“All the things you have built up and were making you excited again will fail”
“You will remain a loser because you aren’t worthy of success.”

You Know, the crap talk your almighty mind gives you non-stop? That stuff. None of which is true of course.

As I listened to the incessant chatter of the mind, I could feel my body going into that panic mode feeling. My blood pressure rose, I had that stomach in knots feeling, and I got all fidgety.

This lasted about 10 min. Anxiety central.

Then I remembered. I remembered that everything that is going on in my head is not real. It is my mind creating these thoughts and if I continue to let it, I will be useless for the rest of the day sulking in my suckiness.

Here are the steps I took to calm myself.

1. Recognizing that I am going down a wormhole of emotion and it is getting worse the longer I let it go on is absolutely the first step.
2. I sat up in my chair and thought to myself, “these thoughts are not productive. They are not getting me to my goals. I need to take one step at a time. This isn’t me, this is the BS coming back around.”
3. I took 7 deep breaths, in for 7 seconds through my nose, 6-7 seconds out my mouth. I had my eyes closed. I felt the breaths coming in and going out.
4. I reminded myself over and over that I am open to receive. I am open to all these things that are slapping me in the face today. I am here because I am trying to better myself and better the life we can offer to our family. I am here to serve. I am open receive the life I am asking for.
5. I analyzed what I was feeling when I was done with the breathing and self talk. Did I still feel all the stress and worry that I had felt before? Was my brain chatter still happening? No? Good! If it was, I would take a few more breaths.
6. Then I looked at my task list and determined what the most important task was, set myself up to do the work and then took a break.
7. I took my dog for a walk. While walking, I listened to one of my brain space books on audible. I have 3 go-to books when I am having a brain dumb day and need to remind myself that the way to happiness is controlling the mind.
8. Got back to work with a clear idea of what I needed to do when I returned from the walk.

Sometimes, this takes a lot longer to accomplish then I want it to. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work. The majority of the time, however, it works VERY well to give myself a quick kick in the ass to get me back to centered.

I also learned that if I can’t stop this suckiness with just breathing, I stomp my feet back and forth with the breathing. Looks stupid, but you can’t focus on anxious thoughts while focusing on your breathing and stomping your feet at the same time. It tears the focus off the negative brain talk and puts it onto the actions.

I felt the need to share because that is some serious growth! I didn’t let the negative thoughts and scenarios play out to the max and ruin my day. I realized I was off. I realized my brain was playing an annoying roommate who is constantly talking while you are trying to focus and I needed to shut it up! I took action and said to myself, “this isn’t me. I am not my thoughts. I am open to receive what I want.”

I hope this helps you in your time of need. You are the one making up the thoughts. Only you can control them. Remember that!

Cheers to BRAIN GROWTH!