build your beautiful self

Almost a year ago I wrote a post about turning 40. I was able to go see my family, spend time with my friends and just chill and in love on my birthday. Life has been an amazing adventure. Many pieces that were not so fun, and many pieces that were a total blast! My 41st birthday is looming. As I sit here looking out my window to sun on my patio for the first time really in a week, I think about the fact that I am about to embark upon another birthday. Another year past and gone. I am on lockdown due to the Corona Virus outbreak. How twisted is this thing?!?! I mean really??!!

Pause for a moment of silence to feel this weird space and wish yourself and your loved ones well.

So this is 40. This is April 11th 2020. I flowed through the end of last year with a wave of gratitude. I made it out. We are surviving and potentially on the way to thriving. We felt an amazing sense of hope, and enthusiasm. It was across the collective human spirit. You could just feel the positive energy in the air. Good things were happening for people and most people posted things like “poised to have the best year ever! Bring on 2020!” “Wow, the economy is awesome! Home sale prices are at record highs!”

It was amazing.

There was also many people who were putting out the negativity with Doom and Gloom articles and really hating on Donald Trump and his family. Spitting negative comments at the person who was the catalyst to their market growth. I mean really, in my opinion, the market sentiment was great because there was a disruptor voted into the presidency. He came into office guns blazing and triggered the previously silent “maybe vote, maybe not” people into a strong “I voted” crowd. It disrupted the normal back and forth over health care and foreign policy. He Literally disrupted America and forced change and was crucified in the process. This is why I don’t like political driven banter. I don’t see a pompous ass, I see a human and a family really being poked with a sharp stick repeatedly for sticking his neck out there and trying to make a difference. As with every other president in office. Always tormented no matter what they do. You get paid under half a million a year to have Americans throw stones.  It’s a very interesting phenomena to have an election year going on and the world is shut down . There are only 2 people wanting to be president this go round. Everyone else dropped out. #CoronaVirus.  But I digress.

I was on the positive vibe ride at the beginning of 2020. I felt a sense of momentum, was pushing the needle slightly more each day to the green. I was communicating more in the world and reaching out.

I felt as though I was coming out of this little bubble I had placed myself in due to the need to make the proverbial IT happen. I had been working so hard on trying to work efficiently and make sure I set up the business that I wanted that worked when I couldn’t, that I basically stopped getting out there.

2020 – Life’s Great! You’re doing awesome! Keep up the hard work and you will be rewarded this year!!! YAY!

Me – That’s so great! I will 2020, I will.

2020 – February has been ok, You are doing great! Keeping up with your new lifestyle changes and business is good. Here’s March! Take a 2×4 board to the face!

Me – Why 2020? WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?

Sob, Sob, Sob

 

In one month’s time, we have shut down the world due to the COVID-19 pandemic. California has to shut down beaches and parks because people didn’t listen to what was put in place after the other countries are saying it works to slow the pandemic. We immediately got our monthly nut cut. Ouch. We had to assess what needed to stay and what needed to go. That’s always fun. The stock market tanked overnight. People lost so much of their retirement in a blink of an eye. Real estate stopped. Big, giant funds stopped funding, bailouts everywhere, The Airline, Hospitality and all the new self employed drivers on Uber, Lyft etc saw their income stop.

My father passes away suddenly in the middle of March and I have to get on an airplane to go to Minnesota to attend the funeral and help make arrangements.

It is a sobering experience during a time where all of us are experiencing a collective trauma. We wore surgical masks, gloves, brought hand sanitizer and clorox wipes on the plane. We wiped down all the surfaces of each seat we used. There was literally 10 people on one of our flights. Crazy experiences. We all got first class service because they could no longer serve food on planes.

When we are in Minnesota, we are told we are not allowed more than 10 people at the funeral, we could not hold a memorial service or shiva, and we are not allowed to hug. We couldn’t even have a shovel to finalize the burial service in the Jewish traditional way. Fortunately the Color Guard was able to honor my dad with his flag and taps. He was a great man. I miss him so much. I was making plans in the beginning of the year to do some of the things I wanted to do with him before he passed away. Someone, Somewhere had other plans.

Life plugs along and you never realize how quickly everything can change, even though you know it can change in an instant. Like a light switch turned off. Gone.

Now back to the new reality of no social contact with others, stay 6 ft apart, no beaches, trails, or any kind of congregation. There are earthquakes, volcanoes erupting, weeks of rain here flooding everything and snow and tornadoes flying around. I would say that is a cleanup if I ever saw one. A nature correction

For this has caused a shift.  All the people on earth needed a wakeup call. The “fallout” from the economy and people destroying virus is for the greater good. It has to be.

Right now, people are pulling together more than ever to help however they can. People are sewing masks for frontliners that have run out of their supplies. People are freaking out and stock piling toilet paper of all things. The grocery stores couldn’t keep food products on their shelves, or paper and cleaning products. You now have to wait in line to get in the store 6 ft apart, delivery and take out are the only ways you can eat from a restaurant.

People are checking on one another and actually TALKING to one another. We are finding things to occupy our down time and becoming more creative. We are working on that home based business you planned to make, and we are HOMESCHOOLING our children! How crazy is that!! It is so great! The relationships that are hopefully being developed through this is amazing! You get to learn all about your partner and your kids again!

Also there has been a betterment to nature! I walk by the water and I see life! The waters are clear and turquoise, I even saw a seal at sunset cliffs! That doesn’t happen usually ever! I’m sure the park areas are growing like crazy without the foot traffic and the animals are enjoying the extra space. I can only imagine how strong the waterfalls are flowing right now because of the tremendous rainfall we have had. I look forward to the day I can venture out and see it. I’m sure it will be super crowded.

So this is 40. It has been wild. I have 17 days left until it officially 41, and I am not able to enjoy what I had before. I am taking this time to work on the things that I love. Writing. (I also write on my facebook page Build Your Beautiful Self) I love to write. It is therapeutic putting content out that could potentially bring peace to another. I express myself the best through written word. I enjoy following the paths my thoughts take when I am quiet. I have many muses so it is easy to be creative when that is all I can really do to maintain life and sanity. I am working on getting more eyes on my work. I want to inspire and be inspired.

I am going to work on a new vision map and get priorities in line for forward motion. 41 will take lessons learned and use them to excel. I’ll keep you posted!

New vernacular is STAY SAFE OUT THERE! I wish you all good health and a big slice of whatever makes you happy pie!

XOXO