build your beautiful self

Something to remember. You are the sum of the people you are surrounded by.

I’m not talking about the people you surround yourself WITH, but the people you were raised by, and who they surrounded themselves with. The people you were forced to live with as you were growing up.

The things you believe are things that were spoken around you, the things that you don’t talk about, the actions that brought them unhappiness and uncertainty, the love and support.

That’s what it is supposed to boil down to right?

Your kids are going through the same learning patterns. As they try to figure out who they are in the world while they are growing from toddler to teen, if they only have you to learn from, what are you teaching them?

I walk my puppy down the street past the apartment building and from one particular windows, I hear a baby cry on a regular basis. My heart breaks for the child as it is yelled to from the other room and is misunderstood completely. The baby cries to get it’s needs met, the mom lets it cry and says it’s bad for crying by yelling. Kid learns that it is alone because not even it’s own mother will protect it. It grows into a fearful or rage filled adult.

I know that when I had a child, the popular consensus on child raising was to let the baby self soothe. I was a kid myself so what did I know! I know that there were times I did let my son self soothe and other times where I could not leave him alone and crying, because it made me sad. I, of course, ran to him to pick him up at that point. What does that teach him? Intermittent nurturing. Sometimes his needs will get met.

I realize the older my son gets, the more he follows my behavior patterns that I displayed as he was growing up and some behaviors of the men he was exposed to. I see me in him and him in me. He is an adult now so he has to make his own choices in life but indecision plagues him as it did me for years.

With this knowledge you can choose.

You can choose that from today forth, your actions that are displayed to your children are what you wish for them in the future. They are watching you. They are also watching their friends, the TV, YouTube videos, your family, your friends, and they are formulating their behavior patterns. It starts with you however.

So I ask you today…are you behaving in the way that you would like your children to behave? Is your life what you want for your children? Do the things you believe in make your life better?

What are the things you can do today to show your kids a different path (if you don’t believe you are on the right one)?

A better tomorrow for your children starts with you. Show them better behaviors. It will make an impression even when you don’t see it.

Cheers to parenting!