build your beautiful self

I was sitting at an office waiting for my turn to sign paperwork. In the room with me was a gentleman who was signing papers as well. While we were waiting we chatted about the market, our family and other various things that you use to chit chat with a stranger.

While we were sitting there in silence, after what seemed like an eternity of making small talk, he looked up from his phone to my computer, pointed to the wounded warrior sticker I have on the back of it and he asked “are you army?” in his thick Russian accent.

I explained to him that it was a group that helped people who came back from deployment and needed help with various things like, medical treatment and psychological rehabilitation, and so on.

He understood. He then told me that his son wanted to go into the army and he couldn’t understand why? He said that he was a perfectly normal person with a job and an education, why would he want to go into the army. His family was against it. I think he saw the perplexed look on my face as he was explaining this to me and he told me his story which took me by surprise and also really clued me into the ways of other worlds.

His Story:

While he was living in the communist soviet union when he was 18 years old, the “government” forced all men 18 years old in certain socioeconomic groups to go into the Army. He told me that if you refused, they threw you in prison. It was the way of the country. either you were rich and didn’t have to go into service or you were lower class and when you turn 18, you were required to go, without pay, into servitude.

“I come from a Christian Family in the soviet union, and we didn’t believe in guns, violence, drinking and those sorts of things.” He told me. “This made life difficult for us, my brother and I, because when we were forced to go into the army, we refused to take the guns. Everyone else took the guns, but not us, our faith kept us from using violence.” It was interesting hearing that not too many people in Russia and Ukraine at that time practiced religion based on the communist society and it was frowned upon by the government. I asked him what happened to them when they refused, assuming they were thrown in jail. “They doubled our work because of it. They made us work construction, building all sorts of things. My brother and I had to do the work of two men each with no pay.”

This explained a lot about why he was against the military and as I talked to him about the way things are done in the US, where entrance is voluntary and people really like to go and make a difference, I could see that he understood our culture just as I had learned to understand his better. It was a very cool experience.

I asked him about his coming to America decision story. He was happy to tell it.

He decided to travel to the US in 1996 with $200 to his name and no one here he knew. He didn’t speak a lick of English when he came over, but told me that the US was very helpful to him when he arrived as a soviet refugee. He was given temporary housing and not long after he arrived he got a job working with machinery. He learned English while working his job for the next 4 years. With children and a wife at home, he decided to get out of his job and start a construction company. He worked roofing and siding for a beat and realized that he hated being outside in the cold, so he started sheetrocking. He was doing alright for himself and his family for a few years after that.

He started full remodels then, and started working for investors. He helped them flip houses and made his general contractor fee on the projects. He said there was one particular investor that he was working with offered to take him out to dinner when they sold a project that he had completed. He remember the investor having a few glasses of wine and becoming slightly intoxicated. They were chatting about the project and how they were celebrating a job well done. “That dinner changed my life and I will tell you why.” he expressed enthusiastically.

He proceeded to tell me that the investor, who was now slightly intoxicated, looked over at my new friend and said “how much did you make on that last job?” To which my friend replied, “$10,000 over two months.” I was a little shocked at what he told me next. The investor started laughing and said “so you work your ass off and you only make $5,000 a month? Stupid Immigrant.” as he slapped a check for $50,000 on the table.

My new friend said he had to pick his jaw up off the floor when he saw the check. Here this guy didn’t lift a single finger and he made $50,000 while he and his sons busted their backs and only made $10,000. He said, “I thought to myself, what is WRONG WITH ME!”  In that moment he decided to start doing what this guy was doing and make the $50,000 checks. He started in his early 30’s and hasn’t looked back since.

What an inspiring story of someone who came to this country and made something great out of nothing but $200. He was blinded by his perception of the military based on his personal experience that was completely different then what happens here. It is also a testament to all the things people growing up American take for granted. Hard work toward your goals pays off even if you only start your life with $200 and not knowing a soul, and this truly is the land of opportunity. Just look at it through the eyes of a soviet union refugee.

He built an amazing home for his family with their own labor and sweat off their own brows, built an amazing investment business from seeing that there was potential to do things slightly differently and make significantly more money, and how thankful someone is for something that us spoiled brats have had since the day we were born.

It’s all about perception.