build your beautiful self

Happy Sunday!

I remember when I was young (and there were corded phones), we had to call our friends and hope they were home. I would spend hours on the phone with my friends talking about the world, other people, what we should do the next time we get together and how annoying our siblings were! If we couldn’t get together, we were talking on the phone and connecting on a deeper level with every phone conversation. We spent as much time as we could outside or with our friends and away from our parents. This is not another “back in the day” story, but it is something that I think about often when I am with my children.

We have lived in a technology driven world for so many years now that I am afraid my children are losing the concept of really connecting with people. They are connected to their phones, their group internet games and very seldom do they get on the phone and have an actual conversation with anyone. They just text, IM, Facebook or some other form of not actually having a conversation to keep their communication open with their friends. It makes me wonder how connected they really are to their friends. The only time they have a real conversation is when they are together and that seems to be getting less and less since they can all sit on their computers and have a conversation or “hang out” virtually.

I spent some time last year evaluating my strengths and what makes me happy in life. When I dug into everything that I have done, the one thing that really makes me feel real joy is creating connections with people, coaching them through a challenge that they are faced with and being an integral part of their success of overcoming the challenge or helping them achieve the dreams they are trying to live out!

In my new business venture with the Isagenix family (yes we are all family now!), my goal is to connect with as many people as I can to help them live a fulfilling life and reach their goals whether it is wealth building or health/weight loss related. In trying to sharpen my axe of different ways to help people build massive success in this business, I decided to research and read about making great connections with people. After all, we as human beings, are a naturally social creatures and even if you are an introvert, you still rely on interactions with other human beings in some capacity.

In looking through journals, articles and other forms of reading material, I found a few common things for making true connections with people.

A. Smile! As ridiculous and simple as this sounds, a smile makes you more approachable! People see you as a confident and happy person, and potentially easy to connect with when you smile. People are naturally curious to find out the reason why you look so darn happy and it makes people smile back! It is an unconscious reaction I think!

B. Give people sincere compliments! People don’t often get compliments. There are also a lot of people who have self-doubt in this world so getting a compliment gives them a pick me up! This is all about making the other person feel good when they are around you!

I was at the grocery store and I saw a girl who had tattoos and piercings and she had a scowl on her face. I could see, as she meandered through the isles, that she saw the looks people were giving her, and you could tell that she had a chip on her shoulder from it.  While she loved the art on her body, it affected the way people perceived her and also seemed to affect her internally. I decided to change one little part of her day. I complimented her on the jacket she was wearing with a smile on my face! She looked up from the produce, saw my smile, and her face lit up! She smiled, and thanked me, then started to talk about the jacket. Where it came from, how not warm it was, but that it was one of her favorites, etc. I could tell that her chip was lifted slightly in that moment and she walked away with a smile based on our conversation!

C. Follow up and have some persistence! If your new connection has a goal or an exciting life event coming up, make a mental note of when they expect the special thing will happen or what their timeframe of their goal is. Then follow-up with them! Check on the progress of their goals or talk to them about how the event went! It will deepen your connection to know you care enough to check in with them and that you remembered they shared something important with you.

D. Share your vulnerabilities with them, or relate with the vulnerabilities they shared with you in some way! It is easier for people to open up to you when they know that you are just like them! We, as people, are all the same underneath the façade that we put out there in the world. We all put our pant legs on one at a time, all have to eat and drink to survive, and all have things that we are vulnerable about. If they open up to you and you are able to relate to them, it makes it easy to build trust and allow them the freedom to tell you anything! They know that you will understand and not ridicule them for it.

E. Be the person they remember! Genuinely thank people for even the smallest of gestures. Wish them a happy birthday or send them a card on their birthday. Remember the important things to them and let them know that you care about them too. Visit them if they are in the hospital or have family in the hospital. Schedule coffee dates or happy hour dates or just time to hang out so they know you think about them and value your time with them. Send them a note saying that you were thinking about them, as it makes them feel special. Be genuine and do what you say you are going to do. Just being there for a person in any kind of time of need will make you stand out from the rest!

F. Have real, in-person conversations with them. Technology conversations are so impersonal. They can’t her your voice fluctuations or intensity on a text message. It is hard to gauge people’s intent when they can’t hear the way you are saying it or pick up clues through your body language. Pick up the phone and smile while talking to them or go spend time with them in person to really connect.

I have spent some time now conditioning my children to incorporate these things into their lives for more fulfillment. It is an uphill battle with the way things in this world are going, but I see changes in their behaviors as they grow, and if I can even impact this topic slightly with them, then I will feel successful as a parent and a human! It is so important in anything in life and especially in the business world to truly connect with people. My world is made entirely up of connections I can build with those I encounter in the world and showing them exactly what I am willing to do for them when they join me on my question to better the world one person at a time!

Have a great day! Go connect!

Alissa

PS. Thank you Isagenix for allowing me to build health and wellness by just being there for people! I couldn’t have asked for a better business family to join!